Friday, September 28, 2018

My Favorite Time of Year

   So many of us have seasons we love. For me Spring and Summer are hands down my overall favorite seasons. But there are other times and events I really look forward to. The Holiday's are one, for most that is a given, but there are a few other times I get excited. Football season is a big one the guys in my family get really excited for. SEC, NFL, Fantasy Leagues, etc... I tend to get wrapped up in the games too. I am a long standing Alabama fan, not really hardcore, but still "my team". By marriage, I became a Tennessee fan, lol... So I guess Bama by birth and Tenn by marriage... Hehe. I never really gave much thought or interest to NFL until I married Vern. He is a big Dallas Cowboy's fan, so I pull for them, but every night or day there is a game on, I find myself pulled into all of the excitement.  I never really have a team in mind but somehow I will get caught up in a game and find myself pulling for a team.

There is another great thing that also happens not long after football season starts, the new Fall TV shows start. With Hulu, Netflix, and the many other streaming services, I get caught up in so many long standing shows, but it is the new shows that I get excited for and oh MY! This year has not let me down. Tonight we caught 2 premieres I have been looking forward to, Single Parents and Manifest.  Both completely different types,of shows, two different networks. Hopefully these next few weeks I will get to commenting and sharing not just these shows, but several others as well.

Thursday, September 27, 2018

My inner Scarlett O'Hara. Girl Wash Your Face

Girl, Wash Your Face.
by Rachel Hollis
Chapter 2 notes and thoughts

My very own Scarlett O'Hara lifestyle was shaken with this chapter. She talks about "doing it tomorrow"  You know, that lie we tell ourselves. She points out a few things that hit home for me...
..."I had this habit for years, as many women do. We talk about the things we’d like to do, be, try, and accomplish, but once we get to the moment of actually doing it, we fold faster than a card table after bunco night..."

   We all have the best of intentions when we make promises and commitments, but we push ourselves, over schedule. Some of us have real issues with feeling pushed to say yes because we just don't really know how to say no.

   "Whatever standard you’ve set for yourself is where you’ll end up . . . unless you fight through your instinct and change your pattern. That’s how I changed my own patterns and behaviors—how I established the rule in my life that I would no longer break a promise to myself no matter how small it was."

    When we start allowing ourselves to put off things it can set up a pattern. We start to not just break commitments to others but we break those we make to ourselves. I mean it is so much easier to let ourselves down, isn't it? But it is in those promises and goals, the small ones we choose to make and keep, that set us up for success.

   Her final point in chapter 2 REALLY made me think about where I need work and how to get there.

    "Be honest with yourself about what you’re blowing off. A little cancellation here or a bow-out there can add up . . . but only if you refuse to acknowledge your actions. If you take a good hard look at what you’ve canceled on in the last thirty days, you might be shocked to discover how you’re training yourself to behave."

   Training myself to behave? Hmm... So maybe I need to be real with myself about what I can do to set myself up for success. Right? YES! I know each time I set a goal and meet that goal, I feel proud. I feel like I am stepping towards a brighter future and more in control. But then I have those days that it is easier to cancel on myself, make excuses not to leave the house, reasons I didnt read or blog for days, and yes some of us do fight a battle everyday with sincere reasons we "just can't". I know there are days I can't control my pain or my anxiety is to the point of uncontrollable. But I also know if I just commit to smaller goals and be reasonable with myself and my own expectations, most every day I can find building blocks to get the most out of life. Because the Scarlett O'Hara in me will win if I don't keep her in check. How is yours?

Chronically Anxious.

Just sitting here, waiting for time to tick by. Already a long day and for me, it has barely even started. Work most all night with (hopefully) a nap and then work, shower, drive... The joy of traveling 3+ hours one way for a Dr appt because I have such issues with new specialists. I used to think it will eventually get better but oh boy! was I wrong. The changes in treatment have gotten WORSE. Everyone looking to place blame and scream there is a problem, but no one really trying to find workable solutions to the ILLEGAL drug crisis we have had. Headline after headline reading how opioid prescriptions are down, but abuse, overdoses, as well as chronic pain suicides, are on the rise. Patients being made to feel as though no one really cares or hears them. I am saddened by what has become of this altogether. Every time I get close to my own appointments I fear the unknown. Will my provider be covered this time? Will I be able to get my medications? How much more can I really tolerate? It is a sad state of affairs and it is only getting worse.

Friday, September 21, 2018

Don't Worry. be Happy! Girl, Wash Your Face

Girl, Wash Your Face.
Rachel Hollis
Chapter 1

Note 2
"When you’re engaged and involved and choosing to enjoy your own life, it doesn’t matter where you are, or frankly, what negative things get hurled at you. You’ll still find happiness because it’s not about where you are but who you are."

As those dangerously true words of my husband's never ending nag "if you can't change it, don't stress about it".... Yeah, right. Easy for him to say, he doesn't worry about the dust bunnies in the corner, he names them. Those dishes in the sink? Well they can wait... Not in my mind. In my mind someone might stop by. Someone might have a negative comment to say about the state of our home. That grown kid "needs" my help and I haven't slept in 2 days, they can wait or figure it out!?!? REALLY? This is his great advice??? Well, he IS RIGHT. I am stressing about a hypothetical situation, someone else's thoughts. Thoughts, that most people would never even have, but I imagine every worst case scenario in my mind over and over. I let my needless concern of what people might think overwhelm me, stealing most moments that I should be finding happiness. Life is too short to constantly allow stress to rule our lives. It is long past time to look toward happiness. Before it is too late.

Thursday, September 20, 2018

The struggle is REAL. Girl, Wash Your Face reading.

So, I gave into all the attention this book has been getting and bought the Kindle version. I will be sharing my thoughts as I read it and hope some of you will join me and share what your taking from the book. I am excited to start this journey....

Just a note* I am not familiar with this author. She blogs as well and has various lifestyle endeavors. I will be checking her stuff out since reading her book has peaked my interest.

Girl, Wash Your Face. Stop believing the lies about who you are so you can become who you were meant to be. 
          Rachel Hollis

So chapter 1 "Something Else Will Make Me Happy"

Note 1
"I am not a perfect wife, not a perfect mother, not a perfect friend or boss, and most definitely not a perfect Christian. Not. Even. Close. I’m not perfect at anything I do—well, except for making and eating dishes that are primarily cheese-based—but the other stuff, the life stuff? Oh girl, I’m struggling."

Who of us hasn't felt like we are struggling? I mean so many of us post all the great, happy moments on social media, but how many KNOW they are truly struggling behond those "happy" posts? Social media has been amazing! We can keep up with family and friends, make new friends, and share our lives together. But the fear of not having it together or some negative Nelly making judgy and mean spirited comments. Yeah, it is like high school again on some pages. The mom shaming I think gets me the most. Many of you may know that my precious grandson has been dealing with,a sensory disorder, speech issues, and communication frustrations can create enormous meltdowns. Watching your own child struggle with a child of her own having illness or something going wrong, well there just are NO parenting books for that. I struggle with this daily. Time to remember we are just not perfect.

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Where is Grace and who is that in the mirror?

  I used to love selfies. They were such a nice reminder of good days. Now the days are more leveled out, not full of highs/lows, just moderate happy days. I have noticed I have become far more critical of my looks. I have never been one to stare in a mirror, I just have my routine. I pull an outfit, slap on moisturizer and make-up, scrunch my hair a bit, and go. 
   Lately, I have noticed quite a few more wrinkles and age spots, but what has hit me the most is the sadness I feel when I look in the mirror. So I have been wrestling with how we are supposed to "grow old gracefully". I mean the alternative is not something I would want either, and why does it even matter to me? The important people in my life, my family and close friends see this face every single day and they still love me. I think it goes a little deeper for me. I think at times I claim I am happy, for the most part, I am, but there is something deeply personal wrong... insecurity.


 Recently played a few games on Caldera (warzone) and then... Lots of luck in this one, but satisfying