Sunday, November 4, 2018

The Cycle

   So several years ago I decided on my own, that I wanted less dependence on narcotic, prescription medications. I quietly cut myself down and kept my practitioner aware. Little did I know the storm that was brewing. Now I have thankfully weaned myself below the national "standards", but not without consequences, my daily limit on what I can accomplish is probably half what it used to be. I am finding more days that I just can't manage to leave the house and my anxiety is on high most every single day. The worst part is I feel so much older, weaker and a much bigger burden to my family.  I have considered alternative therapies and medications, tried several, but nothing seems to make things much different. It also doesn't help that many alternative therapies are not covered by insurance and are extremely expensive.
     I get so angry with all the hype surrounding chronic pain and the lies so many actually believe.  I mean it is easier for people to imagine their loved ones are struggling with a pill problem and not a needle or heroin I guess. So many seem genuinely concerned and angered by the "opioid crisis" but miss a VERY IMPORTANT mark. See, around the time heroin and pills started claiming so many lives we were seeing another tragic problem, funding for mental health clinics and hospitals were being slashed, inpatient treatment facilities and group homes were closed and no sound solutions to take their place.
     I am one of the first to agree that changes needed to be made, pill mills had to be stopped and held accountable. But whatever happened to "First do no harm"??? I have lost friends to addiction, my sister lost her own life because of the damage done to her body while she was in active addiction. I know there were and continue to be problems.  I just don't agree with the mindset that 1 rule fits all in medical care and laws should never control the patient/Dr relationship. 
    I used to think people who claimed the war of opiods was just an easier way to eliminate the weak were exaggerating the situation until this past year. Now as the effects are seen from every corner of the country I am not so sure that idea is too far fetched. I am lucky that I decided to start lessening my dependency on narcotic medications years ago because now I am below the "standard" and barely functioning. The levels I used to need would now get me flagged as a high risk patient most, if not all, Drs would refuse to take on.
      I am thankful to the team of Drs and practitioners I have, but they have had to endure so much  just to take care of their patients. Things are not looking to get any better any time soon either. One of the biggest problems is that the people hit hardest by this current climate can barely get out of bed, muchless March on the steps if DC or put up much of a fight, and that makes us easy targets. I just wonder who is going to make the changes needed and will it be too little too late?

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 Recently played a few games on Caldera (warzone) and then... Lots of luck in this one, but satisfying