Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Booty

Just like mercenaries, cowboys and pirates back in the day often celebrated hard won (and easy wins too) by divying up the booty, Great Satan's regime changers honor that age old practise in their recent victory over the Mahdi army's no go zone (that magically changed into a combat zone) called Sadr City.

"Sadr City, a bastion of Sadr's Mahdi Army, had been off-limits to U.S. and
Iraqi forces since the fall of Saddam Hussein in the U.S.-led invasion in 2003.
But under the truce agreed earlier in May, the Mehdi Army agreed to lay down
their weapons and allow Iraqi forces to enter the slum. The militia, while
vowing not to hand over their heavy weapons, has melted away."

Formerly called 'Saddam City' after a wicked despot who lost his gig (and ultimately his life - though not before watching his sons get shot to pieces by the uparmored darling sons of Great Satan) this shi ite suburb of Bahgdad was name changed into Sadr City after a shi ite cleric who was assasinated by illegit secret police back in the day.

Shortly after the statue fell in al Firdos square, Sadr's son Mookie magically appeared with an armed milita called the Mahdi Army and systematically took over Sadr City.

Imposing a pocket caliphate complete with Sha ria courts, Sha ria police and of course - Sha ria executioners, Mahdi army couldn't be content with tormenting their hood - they had to act out and expand the torment - throughout the entire hood of Iraq.

Mookie proved really adept at preaching, tormenting girls, cussing Great Satan and gathering his minions in one place - just in time for Great Satan to sweep in and annihilate them.

Such urine poor tactical - even strategic accomplishments may have been interpreted that Mooki was actually an agent of Great Satan. Or an Iranian minion that was sucking the mullahs dry of resources like volunteers, cash and weaponry.

That was all pre Surge. Since Surge kicked in, Mookie had to split for safer climes and alledgedly pursuing jumped up Ayatollah status.

Admitting he totally sucked at anything except attracting fear, death and disaster for his vison of a heavily armed, easily offended and violently intolerant Mohammedist society.

Mahdi Army has had their collective booty handed to them at an alarming rate. Ran out of Basra, confronted in Karbala and finally driven back to their formerly safe as milk pocket caliphate of Sadr City.

Since the entire world has seen what illegit, heavily weaponized militias who can usurp the State's authority and sovereignity when ever the opportunity presents itself can do.

Thanks to Iran's fanboys in Lebanon - the Hiz'B'Allah, Iraq's gov realized the state needs to hold the monopoly on violence - lest it collapses and ceases to be a state.

Thus began the Sadr City blitz. Agreeing to uphold a ceasefire (which funnily enough seemed more like open combat) Mahdi Army promised to hang on to their heavy weaponry regardless.

Hiding, toting around such devices tended to function like M 16 magnets.

Sitting around the still steaming guts of Mahdi army - their Iranian Revo Guards, homegrown time traveling intolerants and sha ria law loving losers, Great Satan breaks out the list of treasures her killers of killers and the new Iraqi Army guys have won:

100 caches of weapons, including 295 mortar rounds, 367 AK-47s, 109
anti-tank mines, 39 rocket-propelled grenade launchers, an anti-aircraft gun,
six helicopter rockets, sniper rifles, improvised explosive devices, 123
grenades and artillery shells.

Great Satan also racked up with the foreign enemy (including the original Super Villan Imad himself) fed and funded Mahdi Army's 1st foray into semi intelligent weaponry of the non human kind.

Flying IEDs called IRAM (Improvised Rocket Assisted Mortars for the uninitiated)

Based on an obsolete, old school Chinese Multi rocketeer vehicle sino nomenclatured Type 63 towed 107mm, 12-tube multiple launch rocket, By design, essentially one rocket detonates in the tube - causing the others to detonate or launch and detonate.

IRAM also has a wonderful penchant for detonating right in the faces of their launch squads.

Unverified reports claim media items like dVd's on everything from how to interrogate captives, create Irainian style IED's to bootleg copies of 'Baywatch', Playboy's 'Girls Next Door' and several risque discs of the you know what type along with new enemy tactical weaponry make the treasure term 'booty' all the more appropo.

No comments:

Warzone

 Recently played a few games on Caldera (warzone) and then... Lots of luck in this one, but satisfying