Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Not sure where I found this picture at (so i can't credit it) but I love it.
It somewhat reflects my day-to-day existance at this point in my life. Lonliness and depression, 2 words I've never dealt with before, are eating at me and I need to get out from under them.
I'm a friendly person, make friends fast and generally have a great time out anywhere, yet I can't get out of this funk. Money woes are only partly to blame, the rest seems to lie with me; somehow, somewhen I've lost the 'me' there.
Bowling last night was fun, just as always, and work is nothing to get upset over either; it's the thought/feeling of going home alone, every day that gets to me. Not really sure what to do about it (other than get more friends who live close enough to visit) but I'll come up with something I'm sure. No real reason to post this, but just wanted to get it out there.
I've had one 'date' since my divorce (yes date is in quotes, it wasn't really a date, but it did involve me, a lady and dinner; all technicals of one) and really no prospects of any at the moment. The people across the street would love for me to go out with their daughter (who is great looking) but she is taken [and they live with them atm due to money problems], the lady up the street says she has someone for me to meet, but I got to see her before I met her and I'm not a big 'hillbilly' style person :)
Got bowling again tonight (I sub'd last night) and then 2 days of 'wonderful' fire school [learn to be a better fireman] for work, I'll be staying in my aunt's house [the one they don't live at anymore, which is close to where I'm training] so may actually go out and eat on the company dime heh. After that I have lil bit this weekend, now when she's here, there is no lonely or depression; she makes the room light up and of course we'll probably go see mamaw [the main reason she wants to stay with me I think is so I'll take here there] and all will be good.
Falen had a colonoscopy today, so everyone pray she recovers well; I spoke to her earlier but she was med'd up so much she probably won't remember. If she still reads this blog then I'd like to state that I don't blame or hold her responsible for my current strait; it is a by-product of divorce, but it wasn't caused by it. This is something I'll just have to get through so I can have fun again.
*note: yes I do have fun alone with the dogs, the tv, the computer et al. but I'm missing the human element some days ... and I need a date bad hehe